Why is this burger called a beaver? Because dam is it good! What if a burger and a bratwurst had a baby? Don’t concern yourself with the anatomical questions, just dare to dream. Add a pretzel bun and some Beer-Butter Onions into the mix and you’ve got some quality Food Porn. Dam!

One pot. Forget about how easy doing the dishes will be and consider the appeal of dropping all of your favorite seafood and veggies into a spicy broth that cooks up the entire meal in less than 30 minutes. If you’re not from South Carolina, then you might know this dish by other names depending on where in the country you reside and what seafood you’re boiling up. This is family style cooking at its best. Make sure everyone has an ice-cold beverage, some melted butter for dipping, and then start peeling and eating.

Why crab fries? Because paying bills sucks, going to work is a drag, doing your taxes is cruel and unusual punishment, and basically, just trying to adult every day is exhausting. You deserve the ultimate comfort food. Fries: delicious. Crab meat: delicious. Creamy sauce: delicious. So instead of quitting your job, selling all your belongings, and joining that group of friends you met on the internet that lives out in the desert (which is a cult by the way), why not treat yourself to this crispy, decadent, seafood snack instead.

Salad sucks. Unless it’s warm. And has bacon. Let’s check both those boxes at once and take this train to Octoberfest. Besides, since this isn’t in the Salad Chapter, how can it really be a salad? Hmmm…

Don’t go fishing with Al Neri in Lake Tahoe. There’s no shrimp in the lake, and even though your younger brother Michael forgave you for betraying him to Hyman Roth, ‘Il bacio della morte’ should never be taken lightly. But after a long day with “the family”, a huge bowl of shrimp fettuccini smothered in ‘Fredo sauce is just the thing you need.

Sometimes the best things in life are actually easy. See food. Make food. Eat Food. Seafood. This grocery-market deli inspired salad can be whipped up quick, lasts a good long time in the fridge, and is begging to be your next side dish of choice when you host your next BBQ.

One of the first times my wife and I went out on a date she took me to her favorite restaurant for chicken piccata. You’d think this would have been a recurring meal that I lovingly made for her weekly, but the chicken was so crispy-fantastic and the velvety lemon sauce so decadent, it seemed beyond my skills in the kitchen. Not too smart of me as this dish is pretty easy to make. Guess my wife didn’t marry me for my brains. Or my looks. Sense of humor? One out of three isn’t bad.

I don’t like salads. You’ll notice that the “salads” in this cookbook aren’t really the salads most of us have grown up with (lettuce; quartered tomatoes; store bought, tooth-chipping, croutons; and a bottle of dressing that you found in the door of your fridge – unknown date of origin). But this “salad” is a vacation to the Mediterranean. It includes a collection of some of my favorite items, all thrown together in a bowl, and then tossed in extra virgin olive oil – so, basically, badass.

It’s a well-known fact that after the Battle of New York, the Avengers enjoyed some Shawarma. But the next day, Tony put his phone on vibrate, gave J.A.R.V.I.S. the night off, and treated Pepper Pots to an amazing homecooked meal. After a day of battling the Chitauri, nothing hits the spot like Italian Food. This stuffed pasta dish can be made with a variety of different meats, cheeses, and/or veggies, but ricotta and spinach are a great pair – kind of like Iron Man and War Machine.

Citrus-seasoned shrimp deserves to be grilled and wrapped in a warm tortilla the same way pigs should be baked into blankets and pizzas should be cooked into rolls. Quality cuisine, all three. This grilled shrimp is delicious on its own, but the fun of tacos is exploring the multiple combinations of salsas, sauces, and toppings. Try these with Mexican Cabbage Salsa, Crema-Verde Dipping Sauce, Guacamole, Green Onion Aioli, or if you’re daring, Ti-Malice Haitian Hot Sauce.